Oscar Recap

As the ultimate Award Show Junkie, I was super-pumped for the Oscars on Sunday. I set up a date with RJ and was ready to cry when someone mentioned their spouse, laugh at a nip slip and make catty comments about the dresses.

6:00 - Barbawa Walters Special.

No Idea why I decided to watch this special considering the fact that every time I watch Barbara, I vomit a little bit in my mouth. However, came out of the hour even more confused as to why Scary Spice decided to have Eddie Murphy's love-child.

http://www.tmz.com/2006/10/17/scary-spice-pregnant-with-eddie-murphys-baby/

Especially, since a little thing like having someone pregnant with your child does not stop him from finding the love of his life with Tracy Edmonds, former wife of Babyface. I have no idea why I got so irrationally angry at Eddie for treating Scary Spice badly. Maybe I'm just sad that "girl power" seems to be no match for a man whose claim to fame is dressing up as a 300 pound woman. And if you think his performance in Norbit is hilarious, you should have seen my 300 pound uncle doing the Macrena at my cousin's wedding.

7:00 - watching some generic personality interview stars. No one is exceptionally brilliant or witty. Though I do love Helen Mirren and have developed a slight friend crush on her. Also... people are way too tan.... Penelope Cruz put the cheap tanning lotion down. You are turning orange.

PS - Ryan Gosling don't forget your roots on Breaker High.

7:30 - Awards Show Begins. Ellen comes out wearing a velveteen suit. Damn it again... someone else flaunting velveteen in my face. I am so far ahead of the trends.. I've been wearing velveteen since 2004. And headbands... well I'm not going to brag or anything... but I did own a matching plaid headband and jacket ensemble when I was in Grade 5... and damn it combined with my hot pink over-sized glasses and the snap bracelets, I was the shit.

7:45 Award handed out.. blah... blah.. blah.. don't know who you are.

8:00 Alan Arkin... great choice by the Academy. Little Miss Sunshine, arguably one of my favourite movies from 2006.

8:25... My eyelids are so heavy... maybe if I just close them for a minute, RJ won't notice.. I just need to rest them.

8:30- RJ nudges me. I insist that I was awake and just mentally preparing myself for the interpretative dancers. (who I have to admit were actually pretty cool.)

8:35 - Gosh that glare from the TV is so harsh.. maybe if I just turn my head a little and close my eyes....

8:45 - God, Why doesn't RJ move off the couch so I can stretch out? My legs are so cramped. He is so selfish. Can't he see how this half of the couch clearly doesn't fit my needs.

9:35 - I shoot RJ the "F.. off, I'm sleeping stare."

11:35... RJ bravely shakes me awake. I stumble around for a bit and eventually make it home. I promptly go on the internet and review all the winners and the bits I missed on-line.

http://www.oscar.com/

12:45... Unable to put the internet down, I bumble across the best public service announcement ever.

http://slacklalane.blogspot.com/2007/02/dont-even-try-it.html


1:00... End another crazy night of awards show bliss. Consider skipping work tomorrow to watch the Oprah special.